Pain to Power

Power to Pain

I took a small break from blogging– I tell you why.  A friend of mine asked me if I was concerned if my ex-husband would find me. Blogging is very public. It was something I had to really think about – as a survivor of domestic violence I often find myself trying to stay hidden. I don’t want “him” to find me easily. I have always had the feeling that I had to  watch my back, be careful  of the information I give out, always had to know where my children’s whereabouts. It is a lot sometimes. I have forgiven, but the memories of the past still have a tight hold on my life. So the question becomes how long do I live in a shadow, how long do I have to hide, how long? How long?  Would my life continue be on hold?  

This was heavy on my mind and then in church on that Sunday the pastor’s topic was “Turn your Pain into Power” and it made me think.  I have a serious decision to make. What was my pain? And how could I turn my pain into power?  As I was thinking about that, this Sunday’s message was “The Wounded Healer”, I am wounded and how could I use my pain to heal somebody else?

I realized my story, is not uncommon however, I AM uncommon, there is no one like me! God knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb; He knew my story, my life, my pain, and my blessings. Who am I to tell God what I cannot do? Isn’t he the same God that told Joseph– every where your that the sole of your foot shall thread upon, I have already given you (Joshua 1:3).  So where do I go from here? I take a deep breath, pray and ask God to direct my steps. I pray that my story changes somebody’s life. I hope that things I say make somebody think, or question.

So here I go! My first step into turning my Pain into Power and being a wounded healer….. and with that I want to share this last thing Joshua 5:13-15- it’s the story of Joshua- he is looking at the giant from afar- standing in front of the wall of Jericho. The giant already had a sword in his hand and he was taller than Joshua! BUT Joshua walked up to him and just said right out- are you for me or are you against me?  And the giant said – Nay, I am the captain of host of the Lord! The giant was a captain for the Lord!!! This story reminds me of my pain- my wounds- they are big! It’s taller than me and its standing in front of my wall of healing, peace and success. So like Joshua, I am walking up to my wall and asking the question – are you for me or against me?   This is my blessing, this is how I am to use my pain for power and to help the wounded- I just had to face it!!

How many of us are not confronting the very thing that is controlling our lives? Those fear that pain? Well ladies it’s time to turn that PAIN INTO POWER!!!!

Again, I welcome you to go with me on this journey!